Being happy for those who have what you so desperately want and getting over it

I have a 3 year old daughter. It took a good 4 years to have said 3 year old. Now we’re trying for a sibling for the 3 year old. We’ve been trying since she turned 1. You may not have noticed but I’m not getting any younger, yes, I know, I look like I’m 19, okay, no I don’t, but I can dream so don’t burst my bubble and I won’t burst yours. I see co-workers and friends getting pregnant, some for the first time others for the second or even third or fourth and I find myself jealous. I find myself thinking why isn’t that me? Why can’t I get pregnant? I’m happy for all of them of course I am, but there’s that small part of me that hurts and is angry. That small dark corner of my mind that says it’s not fair, what’s wrong with me, why is not happening for me?

Now comes to the getting over it portion, I am someone who wants things done and wants them now. If it’s not working then you fix it and if that doesn’t work you fix it again and again until it either works or you’ve exhausted every possibility. In order to “get over it” we’ll be looking into seeing a fertility doctor and going from there. We’ll keep trying, I’ll keep being happy on the outside and I’ll work on chipping away at that dark corner until it’s no longer there.

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Christmas is done, 2015 is on it’s way, I’m still not Martha Stewart, I love beer, and resolutions

Christmas.  Oh Christmas.  The joy of having a 3 year old at Christmas.  Spent too much money and bought her a ton of stuff, yes, I know, I’m teaching her that the meaning of Christmas is about getting things.  Am I?  Maybe, but she’s my kidlet, and honestly I think the Geek and I have done a pretty good job of teaching her that Christmas is just about gifts and getting things.  We had a great Christmas with kidlet, she had fun and so did we, and in the end that’s all that matters.

2015 is right around the corner, I find it incredible that we’ve been in Oregon for 18 months.  The original plan was to move by 2020, but in 2013 I couldn’t take it anymore, I saw the ocean for the first time, I went to San Diego and realized that I was never going to be happy living in New Mexico.  I applied for a job within in my company in Oregon and the rest as they say is history.  Living outside of Portland has just opened up so many opportunities for new experiences, not to mention the beer.  I would move here just for the beer.  I tried a Boneyard RPM the other day, and now all I want is IPAs, which makes the Geek pretty happy as that’s his favorite.  Let’s not forget the wine either, Oregon and Washington have some really fantastic vineyards.

While I still have not managed to obtain Martha Stewart like skills when it comes to crafting, I did finish a scarf for kidlet.  I’m working on a second one.  I finally figured out the purl stitch, and in 2015 I plan to break out my sewing machine and give it a whirl again.

Of course I can’t forget the resolutions for New Years right?  Same resolutions as last year pretty much, lose weight, exercise more, add a sibling for kidlet.  Resolutions, I’ve got em.

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2014 in review

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 320 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 5 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

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I never thought I would say this but running

Is like an addiction, I absolutely love it. I suck at it. I’m terrible at it. It hurts, it hurts so much, my knees, my left ankle, but I love it. I can’t do it for long, I can only do a little here and there and the rest is spent walking but I do it. Rain or shine I do it and I do it six days a week. It’s helping with the weight loss, but I do need to do a better job of that too. Running though, I can see why people do it.

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Halloween costume disaster, kittens trick or treat, and why fall is my favorite season

The Geek had this brilliant plan to dress up Kidlet as the Bride of Frankenstein for Halloween since she has a stuffed baby Frankenstein Monster.  I thought it was an excellent idea and attempted to make the costume myself, I figured how hard could it be?  I’ll buy a flat white sheet, a sheer white curtain, put a hole in the middle of each and then hem it and we’re good to go.

Yeah…no.  Not so much.  I bought a twin flat sheet because I couldn’t find one that was crib sized, Kidlet is 3 years old so the twin was huge.  I tried to hem the sheet.  Didn’t have white thread so went with black to give it a creepy feel.  Unfortunately I wasn’t able to sew in a straight line, I measured very badly, and then cut the hole for the neck too big.  I tried to fix the neck, screwed it up three times and jammed the sewing machine four times.

Kidlet went as Rapunzel for Halloween and she loved it.

We had trick or treaters this year since we moved to the townhouse we’re renting.  Our last trick or treaters of the night were a couple in the twenties who had their kitten with them, they were dressed as squirrels from a TV show that I know nothing about and their kitten had butterfly wings.  Kidlet loved it, she got to pet the kitten, hand out candy, and talk to the couple about their costumes.  It completely made her night.  The kitten was cute and I got to rid of candy.  A win-win for all.

Halloween means Fall and Fall is favorite season, it’s chilly and the leaves turn colors and in Portland it means rain.  Living in New Mexico Fall meant that Starbucks would sell Pumpkin Spice Lattes and the weather would finally start to cool off and it wouldn’t be so damn hot.  The Geek and I have wanted to move to Portland Oregon for a few years now and last year we finally did it.  Fall in Portland is completely different than Fall in NM.  We have trees here that actually turn colors and then fall off the trees.  That’s not to say that all of NM is a desert, it’s not, but I lived in the desert for 10 years and I lived in NM until I moved to Oregon.  I love chilly days and nights, I love the rain here (yes, I realize that because I’m not a native that the rain is awesome to me and to people who have lived here for a while the rain is not), and I love that the coffee shops put out the Fall flavors.  Everything about Fall makes me happy.  Including Thanksgiving, because pumpkin pie.

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Fed kidlet, the house didn’t burn down, and Martha Stewart secretly hates me

The Geek is out of town this week (which means I’m on my own with the kidlet) and instead of eating out for every meal as I have done in the past I decided I would cook. Yes, that’s right, me, cooking, well, before anyone gets excited and calls the Fire Department, I didn’t use the oven and the house didn’t burn down. I made pulled pork in the crock pot. I did order pizza the first night, but that’s a long standing tradition for us. I found this incredibly easy recipe on Pinterest and then promptly lost the recipe but I remembered three of the four ingredients. I came home and Google Fu-ed the recipe and came across one on Tablespoon that used the three ingredients I bought.

It came out so damn good that I considered eating it for breakfast this morning. I didn’t, but it was a near thing. Today I’m making pineapple chicken, it’s cooking in the crock pot right now. I’m awesome with the crock pot…because you put everything in and walk away. Oddly enough I also enjoy baking and I even made pumpkin chocolate chip muffins.

I’m not Martha Stewart by any means, I still think she secretly hates me, yes I realize she has no idea I even exist, but she is all knowing and she knows without knowing that I exist. Okay fine, she terrifies me.

The pulled pork recipe:

Pineapple Chicken Recipe

Enjoy :)

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Tripping up the stairs it’s all the rage…

We’ve moved! The Geek and Redneck clan of three has moved into a townhouse, we are renting and hope to be here until we buy a house. No more apartment living for us which I am quite grateful for. We owned a house in New Mexico from 2005 until last year when we moved to Oregon and going back to an apartment was rough. Most of the apartment complexes in our neck of the woods do not have air conditioning and for most of the year we don’t need it. When we moved last year we came up in August and it was hot, but it was for a couple of weeks and then it was good. This year they’ve had some really strange weather move in and it’s been in the 90s to the upper 90s for quite some time and our apartment was hot and miserable. It was too hot to sleep at night no matter how many fans we had going. Last night was our first night in our new place and it was glorious! I slept so good last night.

Which is good because I’ve been getting up at 4 every day this week so I can go work and then go to work for a 6 am training. I normally get up 4:30, you would think that 30 minutes wouldn’t make a huge difference but those 30 minutes combined with the heat make for a rough day. On top of the training and the heat we began moving into our new place last Friday and this week was our day care provider’s vacation. Last night I was walking up the stairs to the bedrooms and in my zombie like state must have decided that I should take the stairs two at a time or I don’t know, maybe I thought I was closer to the top than I was, but I managed to trip and fall while walking up the stairs. Hurt too. The Geek just took our Escape in for service, the check engine light kept coming on and there are recall repairs to be done to it too. When it rains it pours.

Today though the weather is beautiful, kidlet is peacefully napping, and I’m here in front of a window with our cat Lilith typing away and watching the neighborhood come alive. I’ve never lived somewhere other than an apartment where the neighborhood has been so active. I think it will take me some time to get used to it, but I like it.

So now I’m off to unpack and see what else I can trip over, until stay cool out there :)

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