Do you feel the need to throat punch someone? High five someone in the face with a chair? Perhaps you’d like to depants Santa and flip off Mrs. Claus? Would you like to let loose and let someone how you really feel about them?
Then this post is for you! (This totally reminded me of a Ron White bit where he’s naked and eating cheetos)
I have had an irritating week. Last Wed. I went in for my one hour and my regular appointment, I’m told my blood pressure is elevated and now I’ll be seeing an MD and oh look at that we need to schedule an ultrasound and another follow up can you do the ultrasound in one location and then fight Portland OR traffic and come back and do your follow up over here? Great! Also we’ll call with you with those test results. Waited all weekend go in today after I called on Friday for the results, was told a message was left, didn’t get it, second message left, didn’t get that one, and am told oh you didn’t pass the one hour have you scheduled the three hour which will actually be four hours? And can you do this urine collection test over the weekend? Oh look at that your ultrasound came back great and your blood pressure is perfect, huh, well we’ll see you next week.
Turns out I accidentally blocked the phone number of my doctor’s office so I had two blocked voicemails about the test results. *Headdesk* called to schedule the 3 hour test and had to leave a message no call back and yes I checked I didn’t block that number. My job is flexible but this is wreaking havoc with my schedule and that means staying later at work and then fighting traffic to come home.
Oh and let’s talk about coworkers, I have one in particular who has become single white female, asking me constantly if I’m mad at her, did she do anything, can she feel the baby move? No bitch, that’s my uterus, don’t fucking touch me, I don’t like being touched so why would I want you to touch me now that I’m pregnant? No I’m not mad at you, I’ve 99 problems and honestly you’re not on the list at the moment. I have heartburn, indigestion, my back hurts, my hips hurt, my boobs hurt, I have to pee every hour, I’m 35 and I feel like I’m 92 and carrying a bowling ball, I’m fucking exhausted.
We tell all extended family don’t exchange gifts this year lets do Xmas cards and if you want to send Kidlet 1 something cool, but we’re all adults except for her so let’s just be happy we have each other and we survived another year. Nope MIL just has to send a gift. Good for you MIL enjoy the card we sent!
2015 is almost over. If I can make it to Feb. 17th with this baby I will call that a win. If I can make it to the end of the year without killing anyone I will call that a win. If I can make it to the end of the year without throwing a fruitcake at someone I will call that a win.
Happy Holidays everyone.