Being happy for those who have what you so desperately want and getting over it

I have a 3 year old daughter. It took a good 4 years to have said 3 year old. Now we’re trying for a sibling for the 3 year old. We’ve been trying since she turned 1. You may not have noticed but I’m not getting any younger, yes, I know, I look like I’m 19, okay, no I don’t, but I can dream so don’t burst my bubble and I won’t burst yours. I see co-workers and friends getting pregnant, some for the first time others for the second or even third or fourth and I find myself jealous. I find myself thinking why isn’t that me? Why can’t I get pregnant? I’m happy for all of them of course I am, but there’s that small part of me that hurts and is angry. That small dark corner of my mind that says it’s not fair, what’s wrong with me, why is not happening for me?

Now comes to the getting over it portion, I am someone who wants things done and wants them now. If it’s not working then you fix it and if that doesn’t work you fix it again and again until it either works or you’ve exhausted every possibility. In order to “get over it” we’ll be looking into seeing a fertility doctor and going from there. We’ll keep trying, I’ll keep being happy on the outside and I’ll work on chipping away at that dark corner until it’s no longer there.

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About redneckmeetsgeek

I'm a Redneck Girl who met a Geek Boy, we married, we had a kidlet, we moved away from friends and family and everything we ever knew to the PNW, then we had another kidlet, and lived happily ever after.....most days, also I'm convinced that Martha Stewart secretly hates me
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